Wondering How God Deals with My "Mistakes"

No one initially listens to a written utterance except the quiet accepting page. The writer is their own first reader, their own primary interlocutor. So writing is, in the first instance, a private communication with the self. (Gillian Bolton, from the article, “Love Again the Stranger Who Was Your Self,” posted on http://www.IAJW.org.)

And this act of writing a journal entry can be a private communication with God in front of no one but one’s self.  It can be a place to talk to God 100% honestly, and have God talk back to you 100% honestly.  That’s what it has become for me.  Now, how much of that to share?  100% of what God has said to me?  100% of what I’ve said to God?  Probably a big “no” on both of those points.  But what if I already have?  Was that a mistake?  Is it possible to make a mistake?  In other words, is it possible to be outside of God’s will?  Is it possible to do something that God can’t amend and redeem by weaving it into His purposes so seamlessly that you can’t help but think that He knew it would happen from before it did.  And that’s where we get fooled (by the enemy of God, the “dark side of the force” to use a term most of us “moderns” are comfortable with) into thinking that God must have made it happen, must have set us up to have it happen—that we’re just the pawns of God.

But, you know what?  If you’ve ever tried to write a novel, you are well aware that the characters you thought you were making up and that you could do whatever you wanted with, aren’t really that pawn-like.  You may introduce them into the story-line, into the plot, but before you know it they’re telling you the story and you’re the one finding out what they are really like.  Instead of what you thought they would be like.  Maybe it’s that way with God, too.  You know what I mean?  Maybe by creating us, God just gave us our start.  After that, we’re the ones living out our will, while He does His best to keep up and weave us into the lives of others in our life, or in other words into the epic adventure of  those other characters who are part of our epic adventure.